Book Review: “Crossing the River”

In her memoir “Crossing the River: Seven Stories That Saved My Life“, Carol Smith takes us on a journey through grief and out the other side, so to speak – though anyone who has experienced grief knows it isn’t something you get over, but rather it’s something you learn to live with.

As I put it in my Goodreads review:

I loved it. The writing is spectacular, and the stories riveting. The [book’s] subtitle made me expect hyperbole or dramatization, but this memoir is neither – it’s honest, heartfelt, and a deep dive into myriad facets of grief, but also hope, love, and resilience. Highly recommend.

This title made my to-be-read list after being recommended by Lisa Cooper Ellison in the “Memoir Structures” class she taught that was organized by the legendary-in-my-books Jane Friedman.

For no good reason, I expected it to be more like a collection of short stories, a format I want to love but which often doesn’t resonate with me (I am working on it).

Instead, “Crossing the River” was a gorgeous memoir structured as a main narrative peppered with flashbacks as the author walks us through her journey into grief and through all its stages. 

Why and how the book resonated with me

As a new mother, reading about the difficulties Smith went through with her pregnancy, birth, and her son’s health was more heart wrenching than if I had read this a few years ago. I cannot fathom going through such an experience, but very much respect the grit and grace – and human imperfection – that comes through the memories the author shares about navigating all those doctor’s appointments, hospital visits, and everything in-between.

At the beginning, Smith’s mindset is really dark – but she’s so honest about it that I felt like I was in the trenches with her rather than witnessing a pity party. Over the course of her memoir, some of the realizations and lessons she shares that stem from the seven stories are the kind that seem evident yet are profound truths that are easy to overlook.

Interwoven into the narrative is also the life of a journalist alongside the difficulties some newspapers face to remain operational, sometimes having to shut down despite doing great work and being an integral part of the community. (With the recent news of magazines canceling their print runs, I can only hope that digital media allows for similar experiences and quality reporting – but that’s a whole other topic!)

Would I recommend the book?

I stole my own thunder and said early on that I’d recommend this book, and I do.

However, that’s not an absolute, because a number of the topics covered could be very triggering and difficult to read about for some, especially mothers still processing the trauma of a complicated childbirth, various medical conditions, or losing a young child.

For anyone looking to read about navigating life’s tough turns with authenticity and humanity, inspiring stories that feed into a complex narrative about love, loss, and resilience – or for any reader who’s into memoirs, this will be right up your alley.

My take-aways as a writer

• Voice matters. It seems self evident, but reading this memoir and comparing the experience to when I read “The Art of Misdiagnosis” drove this home.
  
• Authenticity and vulnerability go hand in hand. Otherwise the author may come across as whiny or trying to get attention, or worse just have no credibility.
  
• The structure of a memoir is important to get right, whether it’s one of the classic approaches or a more creative one – and based on my reading of memoirs to date, “getting the structure right” means finding a way to tell your story whereby the structure blends into the narrative.