In her memoir “The Art of Misdiagnosis: Surviving My Mother’s Suicide“, author Gayle Brandeis shares two interwoven storylines: her mother committing suicide right as Brandeis becomes a mother for the third time, and her childhood, peppered with health issues and hospital visits.
What’s quite unique is that the red thread to connect the two narratives is a documentary her mother was working on around misdiagnosis. The term is relevant because Brandeis, her mother, and her sister – and myriad family members, in fact – struggle with illnesses that are not easy to identify or manage.
I found out about this memoir through a wonderful Jane Friedman webinar, “A Memoir Structure That Works for You” by Lisa Cooper Ellison. It was featured as a braided narrative tackling grief, a mother-daughter story, and a documentary on medical misdiagnosis.
Having lost my mother 12 years ago, and given my background in biology combined with my interest in science and medicine – I looked forward to diving in. The fact that I am working on a memoir of my own, and that this qualifies as research, was a bonus.
A lukewarm-at-best first impression
For some reason, when I started reading The Art of Misdiagnosis, I didn’t connect with the author at all. This is despite her talking about being a new mom, and my having a one-year-old daughter. The mentions of her newborn, breastfeeding, the exhaustion – I could relate, except I didn’t. It was very unexpected. I found myself feeling annoyed at Brandeis and finding her whiny, the writing confusing.
Chapter names are dates, and while I imagine the intent was to clarify the chronology, it confused me further.
I almost stopped reading.
The shift in narrative & my reader experience
Then, something changed. Is it the confession Brandeis shares about her childhood? Did I adjust to her writing, her mother’s erratic behavior, the unusual structure and mentions of the documentary?
I cannot quite put my finger on it, but it feels like the sunshine broke through the clouds. My irritation dissipates, and I start appreciating the writing, the story.
It almost feels as though I met someone and found them trying, but as we got to know each other, my perspective shifted and the whisper of a friendship took root.
If the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover” holds true, maybe in the case of memoirs there’s wisdom to the idea of not judging them by their opening chapters. Because what if by the end of their story, they are worth more than the sum of their parts?
That’s what my experience with The Art of Misdiagnosis was.
Writing as therapy
Writing is therapeutic. I have often changed my mind as I put pen to paper, as though formulating sentences about a reaction or an experience opens me up to greater self-awareness and allows for an objectivity that was lacking earlier. In the past, writing has helped me realize why I was angry, upset, resentful – and by shining the light on these emotions, it enabled me to untangle some of the complexity behind my thoughts and feelings.
That’s powerful.
It seems that this is what Brandeis achieved for herself, too – and perhaps for some of her readers? – with her memoir. It gave her a process, perhaps even a structured approach, to address some of her emotional baggage around her relationship with her mother, and the grief surrounding not just her loss but her loss by suicide.
Would I recommend the book?
The reviews on GoodReads prove that many other readers loved the honesty and rawness Brandeis bleeds onto the page. Perhaps I am just not quite her target audience.
My takeaways are two-fold: First, if the book’s description speaks to you, you should give it a chance; and second, although I didn’t love this memoir, I am curious to read more of Brandeis’ work – which says a lot.
Have you read “The Art of Misdiagnosis” – or any other book by Brandeis? What did you think?
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